The day my earth stood still.

A few weeks back I had intolerable upper abdominal pain. I called out of work and went to see a doctor. I went to a regular doctor with a sub-specialty of gastroenterology since I was having abdominal pain. That day, for some reason, the doctor decided to give me a full body physical. Turns out she found a "suspicious lump" in my right breast. I had to return for a sonogram. After the sonogram rated it a 4 on a scale of 1-4 (4 being the worse), I had to go do a biopsy. Biopsies are HORRIBLE! Go google ultrasound guided needle breast biopsy. Insane procedure. It's basically for the doctor to go into the lump with a needle and suction a piece of the lump so they can test it and see if it's something serious or not.

Well today I got this done. I was freaking out like hell last night. I couldn't even eat anything. I was scared! I got to the hospital and waited to be seen. You know how usually there's a long wait to be seen by the doctor? Well, I didn't care. I wanted to wait forever. After waiting and waiting and more waiting I finally got taken in. I was walked over to the operating room. Just walking in there was insane. I burst into tears when I saw the room with the needles, the white bed, the bright lights, all the containers. Here's what the operating room looked like:



I got on the bed and laid down, face up. I felt so fearful of what was to come. There's no words to describe that feeling of the vulnerability I was feeling. The doctor finally comes in and puts on her gloves and her blue surgical robe. I was awake the entire time. I laid there with my arm up and my face turned away. I did not want to see anything. I know there was a LOT of blood. The doctor had to go back in literally about 9 times with 9 different needles because she couldn't puncture this lump. She described it as trying to stick a needle into an apple floating in a bucket of water. She just couldn't get the needle through. After what felt like a hundred tries she finally got a good sample. She said she will be sending that into the lab and I will get the results in one week. On Tuesday I should be able to call and get my results. I'm not worried about what it is yet I know I'll be relieved once I find out it's nothing serious.

Right now I'm in so much pain it sucks. I hope this gets better sometimes soon.

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one." - John Keats.

Edison Jadan is his name and love is his game. This love is much more complex then just strong feelings between two human beings. This love is fully equipped with your worst nightmare and your most blissful dreams. This love is stranger then they come and crazier then your wildest fantasies. This love is pure yet tainted. This love is so much more then words. I will try hard to explain the love between Edison and I but to experience this love you need a scientist to come up with a way to get inside the brain of each of the souls involved in this insane love.

I first met Edison in Junior High. It was seventh grade. He walked into my math class and was introduced as a new student. I immediately began feeling this force inside me. I quickly ignored it and continued with my lesson. As the years passed we created tons of memories. Some seemed so insignificant at that time yet so prominent in the present.

Junior High School I.S. 93 basically put me and Edie in the same setting to let nature take it's course and create destiny. We didn't know it then but about two years later we would have our first awkward kiss and nine years later we would be living together. Go figure.

Our first awkward kiss took place around the corner of my house. It was April 17th, 2003. We were on Grandview Ave sitting on stoop just talking. The famous kiss went a little something like this:

Edison: What would you do if I kissed you right now?
Alex: (me being the little amateur flirt) I don't know. why don't you do it and find out?
Edison: (comes toward me. lips puckered.)
Alex: (I realize hes really going to do this so I ineptly pucker my lips)
Edison & Alex: (tap kiss two times quickly - way clumsy!)
Edison: (backs away and looks at me) Are we just gonna tap kiss all day?
Alex: (easing back in lips puckered and ready to kiss)
Makeout session erupts on a strangers stoop.

We back away again and begin a conversation that changed our lives forever:

Alex: (cheesy smile)
Edison: So .... (lingering silence) You wanna be my girlfriend?
Alex: (thoughts quickly racing through my head. yes? no? what do I do?) YES!

Around 12PM in the afternoon on that sunny April 17th, 2003 during spring break vacation Alex and Edie were officially together.

Ever since then it has been more then a rollercoaster ride. This is a ride to the moon! A trip to mars! A journey through the desert. An exploration of the Rain Forest. A swim in the Antarctic Ocean. It is a love so strange, unique, outrageous, heavenly and erotic all merged in
to one!

I have to admit without Edison I would not have been the person I am today. And as I sit here and freestyle this entire blog post I realize how far I've come. How much better, smarter and more authentic I've evolved. Edison is ambitious, motivating and way ahead of his time. Nothing stands in this man's way. If you tell him he can't get two of something, he will come back with four just to prove you wrong. If you tell him hes not smart enough to get into college he will not only graduate from it but also be on the Dean's List and get better grades then most of his peers. Something interesting happens at least once a day when I'm with him. There's really nothing stopping him. He only knows one direction and that's forward.


We have been through fun times and tough times. We've had the greatest escapades and the most merciless adventures.


More to come. I'm simply in love. <3